Last weekend, Jon was on travel and I had settled into the restless state I get into when I don’t have his presence in the house. Unable to sleep I started looking through our wedding album. Aside from the photos we have hung on our walls, I rarely look through our album as we put it up to avoid being ruined by sticky finders. As I flipped through the pages I saw it with fresh eyes. We got married 11 years ago, back when digital was brand new and only a few photographers were offering it. We chose our photographer as many did back then…word of mouth and the single question of “Did he provide negatives?”.
As I looked through, I saw some familiar favorites; my nieces smelling my bouquet, my bridesmaids kicking off their uncomfortable shoes as soon as the ceremony was over, a tender moment between my mother and I as she gave me my father’s wedding ring to give to my husband, but what I noticed was an absences of all those details that I spent careful months planning. I donated my wedding shoes about a year ago, but as I went through the album, I don’t see a photo of them. I know generally they looked like, and I remember how much they pinched my pinkie toe, but I don’t have a photo to really remember them. I had beautiful florals, but aside from photos of it in my hands in during formal photos, there is no close up image showing the details and carefully chosen flowers (I had coffee berries, and I fought for those even though they cost an arm and a leg, but you can’t see them in those far away photos). We went rogue with our desert choice and instead of a cake, we had individual fruit tarts. I hand crafted a stand for them out of vintage silver trays and sterling silver martini glasses that I combed antique stores across the state to find. There is no photo proof, so you’ll have to take my word for it! My brother-in-law thought it was a travesty we weren’t having cake so he made one and brought it in and put it on the cake table. We died laughing, it was such a Phil thing to do, but I don’t have a photo to show you what a great job he did in making it (seriously, the guys has mad baking skills!).
I don’t share this with you because I feel sorry for myself. I love my wedding photos, I really do. 11 years ago, if you had asked me what I wanted to remember I would have said the people. I value people and my album is full of precious souls we loved most sharing in our day. But now, as time has passed, I wish that I had communicated to our photographer how much I wanted to remember my planning and details I took so much time to prepare.
But you can learn from my experience! If your photographer hasn’t communicated with you their plan for photographing details, ask about it! Have a designated place where you put all your wedding day details (a special box, or a gift bag works well) so they are all grouped together and easy for them to photograph quickly. Make sure they know if something is extra special (a handkerchief carried by your grandmother on her wedding day, your mother’s pearls, the bit of your grandfather’s shirt wrapped around your bouquet…) so they can take extra care to create a memento for you to remember in years to come.
Because I was thinking about those missing details and regretting getting rid of my wedding shoes now that I realized I didn’t have photo of them, I did take a photo with a few things from our wedding to have a keepsake. My rings, in an heirloom Mrs. Box, on the music sung by my best friend during our ceremony, with some tulips (that was what I had on hand at 11 o’clock at night!) and I love the result.
This prompted me to start pulling photos that I loved, and I realized that I have a favorite photo (or two!) of each of the ones I found missing from my own collection. I think that perhaps what I capture on a wedding day may be more influenced by my own experiences that I may ever know! Below are just a handful of the ones I have set aside from the past year or so. I am excited to see what beauty and unique details this year’s brides have in store for us!
And, just for fun….here we are on our wedding day!
Lots of love,
Amber (and Jon!)